I realized while refreshing my website recently that my last blog post was 4 years ago. Around the time my life took a major change.
4 years ago on this date my marriage imploded. I had to leave my home and studio. As a person the journey has been heart breaking, frustrating, emotional and an emotional roller coaster. As an artist it has been crippling. My creative space was my escape and a place I centred myself. One of the few places at that time in my life I felt at peace. Leaving that space left a large part of me adrift and confused. Who am I, really? Where do I belong? Who am I? What did I do to deserve this? Who am I? Navigating all that while also navigating a brutal and long divorce caused my muse to run screaming. I found little joy in life, let alone creating.
Which I guess leads me back to ………. not having blogged in 4 years. Which leads me to believe I gave up on being an artist 4 years ago. I’d like to say I gave it a good solid try, to bring it back to life. But I’d be lying. I’d make a 1/2 hearted attempt when some pretty new stones arrived. Then the mayhem of divorce would swoop back in a and swallow me whole and I would back away again. Back and forth, trying to coax myself into believing I could create, finally giving up. I have dabbled in watercolours a bit over the last year. Paper and paint seems less daunting commit to. But, I have truly made very little effort to nurture my creative side.
As I pack my studio again I find myself determined that this IS in a large part who I am. In my opinion my only actual decent skill is creating. I hope this move settles my soul and allows my muse to return and join me, where ever that may be.
Have you had a life change affect your creating and your studio space?